Mighty Malts Malted Milk Balls

It was a cold winter's afternoon in 2003. Buies Creek, North Carolina... an abundance of cotton fields and brick pathways. Tucked ever so sweetly in Reardon apartment 22 D, sat two budding artists, just busting at the seams with creative energy and skill. Too much cabin fever mixed with a plethora of Dr. Perky lead these two brilliantly bored minds into a spiral of creative genius. For, within their sacred pantry of processed goods, there sat a towering box of the sweet confectionery known as the Might Malts Malted Milk Balls. Taken aback by this amazing find, the two artists were destined to create the following tribute, played to the tune of Stephen Lynch's "Lullaby". I hope this doesn't hurt you as much as it hurt them.

My tummy is growling,
And I want something to eat.
My mind says be healthy,
But my head says eat something sweet.

Why can't I have you to myself, today?
I gaze at your lily white box, and say....

CHORUS:
You are my Mighty Malts Malted Milk Balls.
And you'll never fail me when my sweet tooth calls.
Bon-bons and ho-hoes and ding dongs
No they aren't for me;
Cuz you're a bonus pack and ten percent free.

I open the carton
And see to my delight
The little chocolate candies
That comfort in the night.

Why can I have just one serving of ten?
I would like more to eat my friend.

(Chorus)

(collaboration by Erin Tucker and Rachel E. Luck)