Turning Over a New (Kale) Leaf

It's 6:51 pm of day 2.  I have committed myself to a physical and dietary challenge that, up until 5 hours ago, I thought was going to be a moderately easy shift.  With the ideal attitude, it moderately is.  But for me, this challenge is more than exercise and nutrition.  This challenge hits at my core self-care struggles... taking the time to care for me.  In addition, it's about taking the time to say "Hey Rachel, you're worth the effort." 

I have been honestly successful for a totality of 24+ hours. 

Exercise: I am dedicated to waking up each morning to participate in 60 minutes of physical exertion.  This includes jogging, strength training, calisthenics and general breaking a sweat.  I am privileged to have a little "tribe" which does this with me.  Laura Stevens, a recently certified personal trainer (and belly dancer and paralegal and planner extraordinaire) also happens to be a best friend.  Part of the privilege is that I get to be a "guinea pig", a willing participant in this challenge to watch and experience how my body will change with her guidance and instruction. 

The "tribe" consists of Pat (Laura's mom), Jordan (Laura's brother) and Melissa (Laura's sister-in-law and consequentially another best friend).  So in short, this portion of the challenge is likened to a family-affair.  And it's a great way to start my day.  We encourage one another, help one another, and thus far - my uber morning-personess has been gently accepted by my more I-want-to-be-sleeping counterparts. 

The exercise typically happens outdoors; in local green spaces.  We deal with the elements and the challenges brought by mother nature and her landscape.  We run and frolic through streets and fields while others are still wiping the sleep from their eyes.  For me, it's a sacred space... with a lot of built up lactic acid. 

Which brings me nicely to my next point: Nutrition
Having dabbled with vegetarianism in the recent past, I oscillated back and forth about food choices.  I am an emotional eater; have been since elementary school.  And from this created a host of other body-image issues.  Gaining weight, losing weight - it didn't really matter because the underlying remained the same.  My body image, in many respects, defined my sense of worth. 

This is not news to many people.  And I am far from unique in this plight.  Yet I yearned to address it in a way other than diet foods, diet plans or just starving myself.  For example, at the age of 23 not only did I weight-lift 5 days a week, I also did an hour of intense cardio 6 days a week.  I consumed 1200 calories/day.  While I was fit, I wasn't healthy. 

The nature of my calories came from processed and pre-packaged.  It's convenient to just add up numbers in your head with less regard to the actual fuel being put into the body.  Diet sodas, lean cuisines and pork rinds, I have learned, is likened to putting used car oil in the gas tank.  It might run, but it ain't gonna last.  The amount of sodium, preservatives and other unpronounceable items in this "food" is vastly linked to various cardiovascular diseases, digestive diseases... hell, maybe even emotional imbalances.  

This time around, I'm utilizing not only the exercise, but the education on how to best fuel my needs.  Having dabbled in vegetarianism in the past, I decided to go full hog this time and just eat plant-based items.  It sounds terrible doesn't it?  Leaves and carrots and mediocrity.  No flavor or fun. 

So far I have not found that to be true.  What I have discovered so far, however, is that it takes more preparation that I'm used to.  Confession: I'm lazy.  When it comes to eating, I just wanna grab something and eat it.  I don't want to think about it, or cook it or chop up stuff.  I. Just. Want. To. Eat.

This is the most challenging shift for me.  Now, I am thinking about it, chopping it, preparing it, seasoning it, packing it, etc.  I am actually taking the time to do this for myself.  This is probably the most important shift of all.  And I'm eating with consciousness and intention now... not out of boredom or emotional influx... but out of the actual desire to fuel my body (and consequentially mind and soul).

• Disclaimer 1: Yes I know this is only day 2 and the challenges remain ahead of me.  But if I'm feeling optimistic I'm going to go for it.  So there.

• Disclaimer 2: I in no way, shape or form am a plant-Nazi.  I bear no judgment on those who eat meat or dairy.  I support the belief of personal choice and have no desire in nutritional dogma or fundamental conversion to see things the way I do.  Quite frankly, I am not even sure how I see things yet. 

Already I sense the changes, subtle though they may be.  I would like to "talk" about it... here... so I will post updates as I can.  I don't even know if anyone will read them.  It feels good to write it though. 

My ultimate goal is to be healthy regardless of the weight.  And part of that goal is 50 pounds of junk melting away from my bones and muscles.  I say bring it on.  I'll let you know how it goes.