I get it... actually I have a lot of compassion for both sides of the marriage equality issue. I don't know if this comes as surprise or not, but whatever the case, I've been on the both sides of this camp. My personal life set aside, I've grappled and chewed and guffawed my way through this stuff while in seminary, and finally arrived at the "who gives a shit" political stance. And here is why...
I am a history enthusiast. I love history... that stuff that makes a lot of folks yawn or wish for a stiff drink... yeah, I flock to that like white on rice (and no, that is not intended to be any sort of racial slur or cultural jab - we've gotten REALLY off track with the offenses lately). During my time in graduate school, I studied theology and church history... the two go really nicely together like french fries and ketchup.
Sparing you the details of EVERYTHING that I learned, my relationship to the church, the bible and denominational hub-bubs changed significantly. And with that change, my understanding of God and relationships and community as a whole shifted.
Hence my compassion and understanding of the more, uh I hate labels but I'm about to use one for the sake of brevity... "conservative" of our brothers and sisters. I get where they are coming from, primarily because I was once in that camp myself. And yes, I realize that I am generalizing based on my own experience which does not necessarily include all view points.
When an individual's relationship (or culture, or identity, or survival, or emotion, or longing for structure of things that cannot be explained, etc) to the world around them is seen through the lenses of Adam and Eve with a creation story and a God Incarnate known as Jesus and a Bible that is considered to be not only holy but, for some, infallible (which particularly frightens me), then that defines how to understand things such as money, service, discipline, family and... dare I say it... marriage. Or at the very least, offers some pretty hefty guidance and boundaries.
Having been there, I get it.
I can also say that whatever frustrations or opinions foisted upon this "conservative" camp, for most the part the intention is not one of bigotry or hate or judgment. Rather, it's an understanding of the "how" and "why" of the world around them... some, I've seen it, are driven by sheer fear that God will smite and destroy if things don't go in the way they feel God has communicated. It can certainly feel like bigotry.
Oh wait, there was that slavery thing... that's a different blog entry.
Oh, and there's that one time I saw the evangelist in the street spit in a dude's face and call him a fag... yeah, this does actually happen. And it doesn't feel very good to see it.
For those who do not have this particular thought process when relating to the world around them, then naturally it seems or appears... um... silly? hateful? blind? The understanding of the world and how to relate to it is based on a different basis... maybe there's a God involved? Maybe there's several or none at all?
In short, we could be thinking the very same thing about each other!
My problem isn't with the "conservatives" or the Christians. My problem is with the idea that marriage is something that is first and foremost defined by the church... and here's why....
In June of 2009, I was authorized to officiate weddings, both civil and religious, within the Commonwealth of VA (and other states who did not require specific permission within their state lines). I was not authorized within the church. I was authorized before the Circuit Court judge.
When applying for a marriage license, couples in Virginia do not go before the church or their pastor for this document right? Right... they go to the clerk of the Circuit Court. It is local government deal man. Not a religious one.
In other words, if gays want to marry, and you have religious opinion on it, that's cool. If you are a pastor and do not support gay marriage, I fully support the freedom to refuse performing the ceremony. I still believe that all should hold tight to the freedom of conscience. (Besides, there are plenty of churches who do.)
I stand up for the church's right to define marriage as they see fit by their own conviction and moral code. I stand up for the church's right to adhere to their own belief system (because there are tons and tons of different churches let me tell ya).
I would caution those of us in the, ugh here I go again, "liberal" camp (I've also been told that I was "progressive", "mislead", "disillusioned", "stupid", "disappointing", "weird", "an abomination", "out there", "sick bitch", "dumbass", "awful sinner", by people that I have loved and respected... the list goes on)... to not exercise the same sort of "intolerance" in reverse. Ya know what I'm saying? Sure I've wanted to throat punch and call names and react because this stuff can cut ya to the quick (therapy helps!)... but isn't that also perpetuating the problem here?
Marriage can be defined as a union between and man and woman if a church wants to do that. But as an entire defining system for a country with a host of non-Christians or "liberal" Christians alike, marriage is not a monopoly. I mean, I know it's scary for our conservative folk... but I promise you, God is way bigger than your fear.
The gays aren't going to hurt your kids or take over the country. They are just going to exist... like they already do... as your neighbors, coworkers, friends, family and yes... deacons, pastors, lawyers, judges, police officers, veterans, soldiers, mechanics, NFL stars, FABULOUS interior decorators, etc. This is a human rights thingy... aaaaaaaaaaand therefore has nothing to do with marrying your dog... let's not be ridiculous people. C'mon. Dogs can't even cook or clean up after themselves. Have you met any gay men? That would never work out.
If you want the ball and chain, go for it. If you have a particular understanding of marriage? Have at it. Humans do as humans do... we love, we're in relationship, in community. Let morality/religion/spirituality or lack thereof, be an individual choice.
Let's challenge one another to love, respect, agree to disagree... and ask yourself before you speak:
Is it kind? Is it necessary?
One of the early Church Father's named Irenaus defined heresy not as difference of opinion; but rather, when that opinion is foisted upon others and creates division.
Whether Christian or not, I would say that's a pretty rad piece of advice to go by. Let ALL of God's the people say... Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment